Are You Actually Listening—Or Just Waiting to Talk? (Most Coaches Miss This)

Usually, I tell stories from the perspective of the coach.

But today? Let’s flip it.

Because this time… I was the coach.

And the person across from me?
Let’s just say she was the human version of the “Not Listening Monster.”

She was a potential client—an outward processor, big talker, fast thinker. All good things in moderation.
But here’s what happened:

Every time I spoke—literally, every time—she would tilt her chin up, open her mouth halfway like she was priming a cannon, and start nodding ferociously.

Not in a “I’m with you” kind of way.
In a “Hurry up so I can talk again” kind of way.

The moment I hit the 45-second mark, BOOM—she was off to the races, launching into another five-minute monologue. And here’s the kicker:

She never once acknowledged what I said.

Not even a “That makes sense.”
Not a “Can you say more about that?”
Nothing. Just a hard pivot back to her thoughts, her stories, her interpretation of what coaching should be.

At one point, I even tested her.
I said something important—something that would normally prompt a response.
She didn’t even flinch. Just barreled right past it like I wasn’t even there.

Why This Matters

Now, she wasn’t a bad person. She wasn’t even being rude on purpose.
She just wasn’t listening. At all.

And that was my cue.

I gracefully wrapped up the call early and made a mental note: Not the right client. Not right now.
Because coaching—real coaching—starts with listening.
So does sales.

And what I want you to take away from this story isn’t, “Wow, that woman was intense.”

It’s:

Don’t be the Not Listening Monster in your own sales calls.

❌ Mistake #3: You’re Listening to Respond, Not to Understand

Let’s be honest—most of us were never taught how to actually listen.
We were taught how to present. Perform. Prepare.

But coaching sales is different.
Your job isn’t to craft the perfect reply.
It’s to make someone feel seen.

When you’re mentally scripting your next sentence while they’re still talking… you’ve stopped connecting.

Here’s how to spot this in yourself:

You find yourself interrupting mid-thought
You’re so eager to explain your process that you skip over what they just said
You ask a question, but don’t pause long enough for them to answer fully
You forget to reflect their words back before shifting the convo

And yep, your clients can feel it.

What to Do Instead

Want to book more aligned clients? Want to create safety and trust right away?

Slow. The heck. Down.

Try this instead:

Mirror back what they said: “It sounds like you’ve tried X and it didn’t work—did I get that right?”
Pause before speaking: Count to 3 in your head after they finish. (It feels like forever. It’s not.)
Ask one powerful question at a time. No stacking, no pressure.

The goal isn’t to lead them to the sale.
The goal is to listen them into clarity.